Cruisen' the Med

Back in February Bill and I had the opportunity to go on an amazing trip. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to go on a Mediterranean cruise. I mean, think of all the amazing destinations in the Med like Rome, Silicily, Greek Islands, Turkey, and Egypt just to name a few.

Since Bill is in the Navy, he has visited ports around the world. It was a bit of a challenge to find an itinerary that made port calls in places that neither of us had visited before.

Norwegian Cruise line had a 9 day cruise the left from Barcelona (YES!!) and stopped in Casablanca and Agadir, Morocco, Las Palmas in the Canary Islands, Madeira (an island of Portugal), and Malaga, Spain.

We couldn't wait!! Well, I couldn't wait. Bill has spent a lot of time on ships so I don't know if he was as excited to spend 9 days on one as I was :-)

We flew into Barcelona the day prior to the ship's departure. We stayed in a hotel near to the port and to Las Ramblas, the major tourist area of town. We spent all day walking around and snapping pictures of this amazing city. On our quest for the perfect dinner, we spent hours walking around. We were determined to not eat in a tourist trap restaurant. My friend Eric told us to avoid the places with pictures on the menu :-) Sadly, we ended up in one of these because our stomachs got the better of us before we could find something better.

Our waiter could not speak English which was a bit of a surprise in the middle of tourist central, but it was a good opportunity for me to dust off my rusty Spanish. I have not really had a chance to use it since moving from So Cal. It was a little ugly, but I got through ordering for Bill and I and I think our waiter was happy that I at least tried.

Here are some pics from our walk about the city.

Statue of Christopher Columbus pointing out to sea.

Barcelona Harbor.

Casa Mila and also known as La Pedrera: Built by Antoni Gaudi as a private home for a
wealthy family, completed in 1912. Now a museum.

Casa Batilo. Also built by Gaudi. Now part banquet facility and part art gallery.

Perhaps the best known example of Gaudi's work, Sagrada Familia a Catholic Church. Building started in 1892 and is still going on today. It has never been considered finished.

Barcelona was a whirlwind. We only had 24 hours there before our cruise and we saw a lot, but also learned there is so much we didn't have time for. We hope to go back some day and spend more time in this amazing and beautiful city!


We got a sweet surprise when we checked in for the cruise and learned that we were upgraded to a room with a balcony. I'm usually an inside cabin kind of girl because I don't spend much time in the room. I like to save our money for shore excursion, but you want to give me a free upgrade....I'm not complaining!!

Our first day was at sea. This was one of the first times Bill was on a ship where he didn't have access to radar and satellites. Needless to say, this bothered him quite a bit so he was very excited when we discovered there was an observation deck behind the bridge which also contained a radar. He now had a place to see our location anytime he wanted!!

Our first stop in Casablanca was pretty exciting. By exciting I mean sliiiiightly scary. A bus picked us up from the ship and dropped us in city center. The Hassan II Mosque was one place we wanted to make sure to see. The Mosque is visible from miles away so we just started walking it the general direction. We ended up in the back alley streets of the city. No other tourists in sight, just locals.

Morocco is a Muslim country so it was a little scary to be traipsing through these secluded streets not knowing if we would come across people who may not be the biggest fan of Americans.

Thankfully we made it through safely (thanks Bill!) and found the Mosque. It is HUGE and so very beautiful. I could have spent the entire day looking at all the little intracacies.

Check out the girl lying on the steps. Women are supposed have covered arms and legs in this country. Clearly a tourist, sunning herself on the steps of their holiest building in a tank top!! We were watching to see if someone would arrest her. Surprisingly, it didn't happen.

A sample of the popular items sold in Morocco.

The Mosque at sunset as the cruise ship pulls out.

The next day we woke up in Agadir, Morocco. It is a resort city in the south part of the country.

Girls playing what seemed to be a version of Marco Polo on the beach. One was blindfolded while trying to tag her friends. Don't know how she knew she was in the circle.

More of the beach. Something was spelled out in Arabic on the hill. No idea what it says though.

There are many markets all over town selling leather goods, pottery, and baskets. This stand had spices and nuts. I asked if the owner would pose with me. The arm around my shoulder was his idea. Bill offered to sell me to him. Nice.

The following day we were in Las Palmas, Grand Canaria, Canary Islands. The weather was beautiful this day. We took a very long walk from the ship into the downtown area.

Las Palmas is the largest city on the islands and very beautiful.

City view from atop the cathedral.

Our best day of weather was followed by our worst. This is Madeira, Portugal. An island near to the Canary Islands. One of the big attractions on the island is to ride on of these toboggans down the mountain. Two guys run along side you to control and steer the sled. This was how people who lived on the island years ago used to travel from the mountains down to the city.

It was POURING rain. We didn't have much for rain gear so we got soaked. The ride was fun, but I think we would have enjoyed it much more if the weather had been better. We spent the rest of the day in wet clothes (YUCK!) and froze in our tour bus. A bit of a disappointment.

As we headed back down the mountain the sun came out.

And we got to see a beautiful rainbow over the island.

Our final stop was Malaga. A beautiful city in the south of Spain. We took a city bus tour here to catch all the sights. Below is their main cathedral, La Manquita.

Castillo Gibralfaro. A fortress and Castle built in the 12th century.

View of the cathedral from the stop of the castle.

Plaza del Toros. City bullfighting ring.

This trip was fantastic! Bill is much happier behind the camera in front of it. I just realized he wasn't in a single photo!! The cruise was amazing and we got to check several more countries off our "to do" list :-)

Bill is a TOUGH GUY!!

In early February this year Bill, along with several other men and women from his base, participated in a competition called "Tough Guy". It is a competition held twice per year in February and again in July. The Tough Guy raises money for 2 wonderful charities and has been going on since 1995.
1. Walking With the Wounded - A charity supporting military service men and women injured in service.
2. Horse Sanctuary - Offers rehabilitation and re-homing for abused and unwanted horses throughout the UK.


We boarded a bus at 6 AM for our 2 hour drive to Birmingham. Everyone suited up when we got there and posed for this picture before the competition started.


I was not prepared for half of what I saw this day. There were about 2000 participants from all over Europe. We saw teams from France, Germany, and of course US from America!! People were wearing insane costumes, many of them half naked and it was only about 38*F that day!



This is the starting line. When the cannon fired, everyone came piling down this hillside for the start of the race. I can't believe there are this many crazy people in England.


Like I said, there were some crazy costumes. This guy dressed like a fairy.....


Hitler came out for the race and even wore a tutu!!


Ummmm, I have no words for this guy. I can only imagine how cold he must be.


About 2 miles in, hopping over some hurdles. Check out the group of guys dressed as Native Americans.


This stage of the race had them running up and down the same uber steep hill over and over again. Ughh. No thanks.


Next came the ditches. Yeah, that is ice on the top of the water.


Bill after his first dunk in the ditch. I think he is putting on a brave face for me here. This ditch was at least 150 yards long and he had to weave along the length of it. They had to jump in and crawl out about 20+ times!!


After the ditches the major obstacles began. The banner was fair warning. After crawling up this 40 foot wall and back down the other side, Bill was greeted with wires that gave an electric shock if he touched them while running through an enclosure.


After 3 major obstacles requiring climbing, sliding, swinging and jumping over hay lit on fire, Bill had to jump in this small river and wade down to an area that required him to dunk his head underwater to pass. Doesn't he look like he is having fun??


After climbing out of the river and on to the next obstacle, Bill had a smile for me and the camera, as well as another gesture of love.


The course took Bill about 3 hours to complete. It was painful to watch everyone go through all these courses in freezing cold and muddy water. I still can't believe no one died - seriously.


After finishing the course, Bill was greeted with a cold shower to get ALL that mud off. How much worse could this get? They don't even get a hot shower at the end? I asked Bill if he had ever been more uncomfortable in his entire life. He said no.

Right before I took this "after" photo he said to me, "Don't ever let me do this again".

Uh huh. We'll see.

Oh Baby

I've gone back and forth on whether or not to post about what happened with our baby. Miscarriage is a horribly painful experience that many people know only too well from their own experience. For those who have been fortunate enough to not go through something like this, it is a bit of an unknown. This is a very long post and for that I apologize.


Fair Warning: You may find this topic to be TMI. If that is the case, I suggest you stop reading now. This is our space to share about our experiences while living abroad and well, this was a major one. I'm going to be frank about what happened and is still happening to us and it may get detailed in a way you are uncomfortable with.


I decided to go ahead and share what happened because I don't think it should be treated like a secret. Right after it happened to us, I felt so alone and isolated in my pain. You always hear that these things are common, but nothing can prepare you for the moment something so precious to you is stolen away. Sometimes talking about painful experiences can help us heal from them. I have found my greatest solace in talking to friends with similar experiences. Many people experience this and never tell anyone because it happened early in their first trimester before they shared their happy news. I may have been one of those people too except that most everyone knew I was pregnant when this happened to us. Maybe it can help one of you to know that someone else feels the same way you did.

Bill and I celebrated our first anniversary this past October. We had decided that we were ready to be parents and it was the right time for us to start trying to begin our family. We were VERY lucky that it happened so quickly and I had a positive pregnancy test on October 29th. I knew it was positive before I took it. I could just feel it. I don't know how to tell you how I knew other than I just had this innate sense that something was happening in there. We went to the doctor a few days later to have it confirmed. I was traveling to the US that same week for a 2 week visit so I wanted to make sure I knew everything I needed to know before I left. I was given info packets, DVDs and instructions for what I could and could not do,and could and could not eat. It was overwhelming and exciting all at once. I mean we had just decided 3 weeks prior to try and here I was PREGNANT!

While at home in the US, I told my parents and a few close friends because I needed them to help me hide it in social situations. After getting back from the US a week before Thanksgiving, I started to get very sick. Many of my symptoms were consistent with what most women experience in their first trimester so I didn't think much about it. In early December at my 10 week check up, I got to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first (and only) time. I was ecstatic. Hearing this finally made it seem real. I felt confident, as did my nurse practitioner, that our baby was healthy and ready to share the good news with our friends and family.

At week 12, when all seemed to still be well, we let the cat out of the bag and told everyone in our Christmas card. Our elation at sharing our news was short lived. My first ultrasound was the following week.

Leading up to my 13 week ultrasound, I was sooooo excited. I couldn't wait to finally get a look at the little guy or gal that was making me so very ill and miserable for the past couple of months.

The technician started my exam and what happened next felt like getting slapped across the face. "Mrs. Barnard, I'm sorry but I am just not finding a heartbeat".

It was like one of those slow motion events. She said the words. I understood them. It just didn't feel real. I mean, how could this happen? I heard the heartbeat a few weeks ago. I have not had any bleeding or cramping to suggest anything was wrong. I looked over at Bill and couldn't read his face. I don't think he could believe what he was hearing either.

She brought another technician in to confirm her findings. I still had a shred of hope. Maybe she was wrong, I mean she had to be wrong right? There is no way my baby could have died.

They said our baby passed shortly after my 10 week exam based on its size. They were unsure why I had not already miscarried since it was 3 weeks later. They gave me an option of taking medication and miscarrying at home or to have the baby removed surgically. I just couldn't bear the thought of doing it on my own at home. I mean what are you supposed to do, flush your baby down the toilet? What a terrible thing to have to face at home.

Fortunately, they were able to schedule me for surgery 2 days later, on New Year's Eve. I just wanted it over with. It was a horrible feeling knowing I was still walking around with our baby inside me, just dead. Dead for 3 weeks already. It was so disturbing. I just wanted it out...and that made me feel guilty. It wasn't the baby's fault something went wrong. What did I do wrong? That cup of coffee? I forgot my prenatal vitamins a few days, was that it?? Everyone tells you it isn't your fault, not in your control when you miscarry, but anyone who has gone through this can't help but wonder if they did something to cause this. I mean, I'm the one who was carrying it after all. It must have been me. GUILT.

Then I was EMBARRASSED. We had shared our news with the world just a week earlier. I felt like an ass. I knew we should have waited until after that ultrasound, but it was Christmas and what a great thing to share with everyone at that time of the year. What a jerk I felt like. Last week: "We are pregnant!", this week: Uhhhh nevermind.

Next up, ANGER. How could this happen? I've been so sick for so long and I have nothing to show for it. What a waste. Oh wait, now there is GUILT again for thinking my baby was a waste.

Surgery went fine and I had very little pain afterward. Physical pain that is. Bill was working 12 hour night shifts during this time so I was alone a lot. A lot of time on my hands to sit and dwell and feel sorry for myself and for Bill. To mourn the loss of a child that I had loved with all my heart for 13 weeks. Made plans for and thought about constantly. Imagined what they would look like and what names we might give him or her. I was already that child's mom, even though I didn't have them to hold in my arms.

The following week, the hospital where I had my surgery had a non-denominational service in remembrance of the children under 12 weeks who had died in the month of December 2010. The remains are cremated and placed in a communal grave about 20 minutes from where we live. I like knowing that there is a place where our baby lies. A place we can visit if we want to.

Bill and I went about our lives, trying to get passed what had happened. It was not always easy. I mean you don't really advertise losing a baby on your Facebook status the way you can announce that you are expecting. So for the next several (who am I kidding, it is still happening to me) weeks I had to face people asking me in the grocery store about the baby or posting things on my Facebook wall about the baby. Normal things, normal questions. Me having to send them a private and awkward email letting them know I was no longer pregnant. Some of you reading this were on the other end of that awkward email so you know what I mean!

During those 3 months I was pregnant, I collected books on pregnancy, received Christmas gifts of clothes for the baby and other keepsakes, ect. I put all those things in a box and sealed it. It is in the closet of the spare bedroom for now. I'm not ready to look at those things. Probably will not be for a while.

In early February, Bill and I went on an amazing cruise. I actually booked it the day before the ultrasound and had it pegged as our "Baby Moon". Our last hurrah of vacation fun pre-baby. We were able to put those sad feelings aside and enjoy our vacation.

By mid February, 6 weeks had passed since all this happened and I was starting to feel more normal about it. Able to actually talk to someone about it other than just my mother or Bill. The day after we got back from our trip I received a phone call from the hospital. It was a doctor calling with some pathology results from tissue they obtained from me and our baby.

The test results showed that I was suffering from a very rare condition called partial molar pregnancy. It was part of the reason I was so extra sick while I was pregnant. It was a complete accident that takes place during conception resulting in my egg getting fertilized twice. Our baby had 69 chromosomes instead of the normal 46 and would have never survived past 16 weeks of gestation. This causes mass amounts of excess pregnancy hormones in the body (why you are extra sick) and a certain kind of tissue to grow on the placenta that ultimately kills the fetus and if not completely removed, may cause cancerous cells in my uterus and lungs.

Long story long, I've had to have several blood tests to confirm that my hormone levels are returning to normal (which they are) and this indicates that all the dangerous tissue is gone.

I am ok and healthy and for that we are very GRATEFUL. This does not effect our chances of having a healthy pregnancy and baby in the future and for that we are THANKFUL. So many other people out there have difficulty just getting pregnant. Our issue is completely different. We are not allowed to try for another baby until the end of summer because of the ongoing testing I require and to ensure that these cells do not return. This is of course a bummer, but it is not like we cannot have a baby so I still consider us very lucky. Things could have turned out much worse.

Since January, my license to practice as an occupational therapist was FINALLY approved for the UK and I got a great 1 year contract to work at one of the Cambridge University Hospitals. I do not suppose this would have happened if I were 6.5 months pregnant. I will take all this for what it is, and now I get to have the experience of working as a therapist abroad and for that I feel lucky. It just wasn't our time yet and I know our time will come. I know there will come a time when I will stop looking at other women with that tell tale bump and feel a little jealous. A time when I will not get that twang of sadness watching a mom push her baby in a stroller. That will be me someday. That will be us.

It is true when they say that time heals all wounds. After 3 short months I may not be healed, but I am definitely healing.

Back in the USA! New Orleans for Jordan and Elizabeth's Wedding

In November 2010, I made my first trip back across the pond since moving to England to attend the wedding of Jordan and Elizabeth in New Orleans. I would not have missed this wedding for anything! Elizabeth was a former roomie of mine in San Diego and Jordan and I are very good friends. I got to play cupid with these two and introduced them in 2006.

It is funny being friends with people who like each other. Shortly after that initial introduction, they both told me privately they were interested in the other. A couple of weeks later, we had our 1st (of what became an annual) Halloween party. My girlfriends and I always had a group costume and since that first year, Jordan would join in with our theme in some sort of way.

For this party, we dressed as "The Madres". A female baseball team version of the San Diego Padres. Jordan was our ball boy.

Let's just say Cupid's arrow firmly struck for these two that night........

......or maybe it was the shots that finally gave them the courage to agree to a official first date :-)


These two have been great friends of mine through the years and even caught the bouquet and garter at mine and Bill's wedding!! Jordan proposed just a few weeks later :-)


Fast forward a year to their destination wedding in New Orleans!! It was so great to spend time with some of my favorite people who I missed so much!



The setting was a gorgeous property in Louisiana called Oak Alley Plantation.

The ceremony site.

The wedding started at sunset and was gorgeous.


We danced the night away under the stars (and heaters!!) to celebrate the happy couple.

The day after the wedding I continued on back home to Milwaukee. To be continued....

Americans Playing Rugby

One of the most popular sports in England (aside from football, or for you Americans, soccer) is rugby. It is a sport I had always heard about but never actually seen played. The base where Bill works has a team that started the year before we moved to England. They are called the Molesworth Maulers and they play against other rugby clubs in the surrounding communities.

The season for rugby is very long, starting in September and lasting until May. The first game of the season was a beautiful day in September 2010. The Maulers do not have a home pitch (field) so we are always the visiting team. The team meets on base prior to the match and caravan to opposing team's pitch.

I had no idea what to expect that first game and did not trouble myself to actually learn any of the rules. This proved for a very confusing initial experience. I decided that rugby seems to be a combination of 3 sports.

Soccer,


American Football,

And Cheerleading.

This is by far, the MOST brutal sport I've ever seen played. Rugby players are tougher than any American football player. These guys tackle, push, and kick one another without any padding or helmets!!!

After the first match, Bill came off the pitch with the biggest smile on his face and proclaimed, "That was AWESOME!!" That was it and he was hooked. Bill immersed himself in learning about the game. He read books and recorded professional matches to watch so he could learn the intricacies of the game. We recently learned that Bill will be the new coach for the Maulers next season (as well as continue to play).

This picture below is Bill scoring his first "try" for 5 points.

This picture below is a "scrum". You can see Bill on the blue team crouched down low on the left side. Both teams meet (ahem, crash into one another) to compete for the ball that is placed inside as a way to restart the game after an infraction has occurred. If I were on the other team, I'd be scared to face Bill in this formation!!

In January, 2011, Bill's team had the opportunity to have a practice with the coaches of the Northampton Saints, a professional rugby team about an hour away from where we live. It was a great experience for the guys and lead to their first win EVER as a team the following weekend! We were all invited to attend the game that evening as the Saints took on Edinburgh and it was so cool!! The energy of the crowd was unreal. We struggled to follow along with the songs, chants and cheers of the other fans, but were able to join in by the second half of the match.

Saint's scoring their final try of the game.

Saints in a scrum vs. Edinburgh.
They won the game!!

The Rugby season continues for Bill and the Maulers. They are still learning the game and playing hard each week. All and all they are having a great time and having an opportunity to engage in important part of British culture, RUGBY!!!